Thursday, October 31, 2013

childhood writing samples

here are some things i wrote as a youth. not much has improved since then. some of these are very morbid. what was wrong with me.

dictated story, june 1996. end of kindergarten.
once there was an octopus that had seven fish for friends. they liked to play with octopus. he loves to play with them, too. one of the fish octopus had, was an octopus. they all loved to play tag and they all liked to play lots and lots of games until there was more games in the ocean. and the octopus was all different colors and so was the fish. they were all different kinds. and different shapes and sizes. octopus' name was rainbow. all of the fish were julia, katie, romeo, and juliet. and then they loved to play. there were lots of them. they loved to play and they had one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. the octopus' colored a rope. all of them colored every fish. when they played wonderball with the seaweed, and when everyone stopped when the music stopped. the octopus was holding it. they had to swim around in a different place. their parent was called because it fun to play. they loved the ocean water because when they plated it was sun in the water. they wished they cold come out, but their mothers told them they would die if they went to land. so they stated in the water liked their mommies told them. and then they were done until the day was done. they slept in their water beds in the seaweed and sand and all the other plants that were in the water that they picked,. the octopus helped them pick them because he had long arms, tentacles. arms called tentacles so he picked them. the end.

*****

october 28, 1997 (second grade?) how the witch saved the ghost
once there was a witch who had a friend. that friend was a ghost and her name was gloia. they went to 316 spooky lane and haunted. none of the kids go near 316 anymore. they are too scared. one night when they were haunting a chest opened and a vampier came out. they ran and ran and the vampire ran faster. he cought the gost. he flew away with him. but the witch had a plan. she would sneak in his chest. when she did she saw a door. she went through. she saw the ghost. he was in a cage. she snuk the key and let him free. the end.

*****

june 17, 1998 (end of second grade)
cats are very clean. they cover their droppings in dirt. they shed and they shed alot. they lay up to 12 kitten at a time. they are mammels just like we are. mammels are annimmals that give their birth from the body and give their young milk.

*****

february 2, 1996 first grade.
once upon a time there was people and they had a little bunny and two kittens. they were careful to keep the bunny outside in a cave because they don't want to cats eating him. they always kept the bunny ouside except at night. they kept him up in a high spot in the attic. and he wasn't scared. the cats slept downstairs in the cellar. and they loved them.
sometimes, the people went out. and they left the bunny in the dining room, with nice towels all over the floor because they liked him. the bunny liked to go on the ground and hide. and they still were carefully to keep the cats out of the dining room. they always kept the cat somewhere where he liked, because they don't like the bunny getting hurt. the cat had kittens. they were mean kittens because they wanted him home all the time. and they couldn't afford the mom because they were too much money. and they had furry bunnies. but they always kept them somewhere. they always called them bunny because they had three cats a long time ago. the boy died. and the other bunny died; to they only have two cats and two bunnies. and then one of them was named lisa. and her brother was named joe. and the cat's names were harry. and one of them was jordan. and they liked to play music. the cats like to play with him- the toys- the catnip toys. they didn't play with them outside because they didn't have catnip in them. so they gave them to the bunnies. and he liked to play with them. and sometimes the bunnies would bury them in the snow. and they could find them 'til summer. the end.

*****

october 24, 1995 first grade.
once upon a time there was a cat dressed up as a ghost. and he didn't know there was another cat. and he was a bad cat. he scared him. and the monster, and the other black cat saw the monster and he scared him away. and the bad saw two pumpkin friends. and the bat scared them. and he took them away. and they stayed there. the end.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

dreams i have dreamed

shout out to the fact that dreamt isn't a word and people always try to use it AND IT IS NOT A WORD SO STOP.

last night i had a dream that mick jagger was the dad of an anonymous friend of mine and she took me to his house and he started showing me around. then he took me into the back where he had this warehouse of terrible art like the kind of art that goes with people's black lacquer furniture in the 80s. and it was all really dirty. but then he had some good pieces like this keith haring painting. there were two dogs in the warehouse and one had a really long snout and i kept petting it even though it was very shaggy and dirty. then mick jagger showed me his walk in closet of black jackets.

*****

i recently had a dream about getting married. i was in this 5 story forever 21 with my dad who was pissed at me because i didn't have a dress and it was my wedding day and why am i shopping for my wedding dress at f21 with my dad this is probably actually how it will go down if i ever get married. anyway i opened this door and was out on the fire escape and saw this tiny boutique and in the window was ~the perfect dress~ so i ran over there and got it and rushed to my wedding which was at the first church in my hometown (ew) and as i was walking down the aisle i suddenly shouted "i don't want to do this. fuck this." and ran out and everyone started yelling and making a ruckus and i think i met some other dude outside and we ran away.

*****

i had a dream that i was dating this guy i was sleeping with for a hot second and i went to my middle school friend's new house she just remodeled and then i was looking at pictures and i got a text from him that said "i slept with someone else" and i got really mad and broke my flip phone in half. it was also three years in the future.

*****

one time i dreamed that i had to decide my life and the three choices were math, cooking, and something else, and i chose cooking and when i went to take the test i was in the math test instead of cooking and i was freaking out, then this guy in the chair next to me leaned over and we started making out and left.

*****

i had a dream i had 5 babies at the same time. and then i left them at my house and went next door to go to a bar exclusively to buy stickers from a sticker machine and then a giant penny came out instead and i was mad and i think i threw it at this kid who was in a booth. like a 7 year old kid. and then i was like oh shit i left all my babies at home alone what kind of parent am i. but also where was there dad? even in dreams men disappoint me.

*****

one of the best dreams i ever had was that i was on a game show called "find your man." the premise was me and a group of middle school girls were on a scavenger hunt looking for men. if you found a man you could choose to keep him or leave him in search for a better one but if you had no man when the clock ran out you were going home with no man. it was on this like, mountainous terrain with grassy hills and streams and rocky outcroppings. anyway i found a sloth/dog hybrid and was satisfied.