they should make a woman about me called yes woman

1. i was at the bar with my coworker. then she left. i was sitting next to a girl who kind of looked like chloe sevigny. two men were sitting near us and one said, "hey would you ladies like to go to this speakeasy with us." and i looked at chloe and i said, "i'm down if you're down." then we got in the one man's audi and drove downtown and went to this fancy bar where i drank a drink with absinthe and then some kind of punch i don't remember. then we went to another bar and drank spicy margaritas. the entire night i felt like chole and the man with the audi liked each other and were kind of making fun of me? but i didn't really care. and then the other guy, who i am sure you've forgotten about by now, looked like a sort of hipster george clooney but lankier. salt and pepper hair/beard/whatever. anyway he was kinder and more quiet. when we were done drinking at the bars, the girl left to meet up with her friends, and the man in the audi drove and and george back to the original bar. then he drove me to the bus stop.

then we made out. for like an hour. and there was choking and spanking and general nasty shit going down. it was great. then he wouldn't come back to my place/take me to his place cause he had to meet the audi man. so he took down my phone number and said we were gonna get dirty at lunch the next day. except when lunch the next day rolled around he texted me "i feel pretty guilty about last night. i have a wife and kids. we shouldn't do that again."

2. i was at the bar with my coworker. we met this man who was in town for a conference. he told us he also had volunteers like us at his work and knew how little we got paid, so he was going to take us out to dinner. we chose a modest indian place nearby but he said something really fancy and special that we normally wouldn't ever go to. so we decide on a place. he takes us to a rental car and it's a mustang convertible. we ride to the restaurant, drink wine, eat a ton of delectable food. good times were had by all. as we leave the restaurant i ask if i can drive the mustang. he says yes. i get in the front seat and reveal i don't have a license. he still lets me drive it. i put the top down. it ruled.

when opportunity knocks.............