tying the knot

i went to the bar and met a guy who was very drunk. i said to him why don't i walk you home and you can go to bed. i will even tuck you in! and so we walked to his apartment and i thought if he starts making out with me i will go with it. so he did and we went to his room and had sex. then i remembered i had not closed my tab, and he said let's get more beers. we spent about 40 minutes in his living room lifting weights. then we walked back to the bar. 

as we were crossing the street a man asked for a cigarette and the man i had just met said no, and the man got really mad and threw off his coat and threw his soda on the ground and rolled up his sleeves. and i was like what the fuck is going on. they started to yell at each other, and then another man came out of the bar to try and break it up but he was too drunk. everyone was belligerent so i pulled out my taser and was like 'this ends now' and it ended, but the man who wanted the cigarette started yelling at me that i had a shitty husband and i yelled back 'i am bound by no man' and we went into the bar and drank more.

then a man i had sex with a bunch a year ago was there. we recently rekindled our friendship in bed. i think i said to him 'you can couchsurf in my bed if you want' and he came over. anyway. they were both sitting next to me and touching me and then i left the bar again with the man and we slept and had sex and did you know you can get the hiccups in your sleep?

in the morning i had to tell him about leaving and returning to the bar and the fight with the homeless man.