the best of okcupid

here are some real life messages i have received from men on okcupid. this is the highlights reel. i was going to write some commentary but i'll let these messages speak for themselves:

hey! you look like the girl from elf, have you ever heard that before? well i think you are very beautiful and i'd like to get to know you. message me back if you're interested and we can try to do just that. cheers.

well, we seem to be interested in the same things, at least mostly, but you have your age limitations set to 22. curse my being born in '91. make an exception?

Hey can you guess what my shirt says on it in my main photo? It's a band that apparently we're both into. I've seen them play live 2x and they are my favorite band in tha whole world ever! Anyways, have you heard of a band called "My Bloody Valentine"? They were a huge influence on my favorite band AND they're coming to Austin next month...super excited!

casual sex?

Good Afternoon! 

I like your glasses, and we share some similarities as far as the questions on here go. And most of the ones that we differ on are only in magnitude, e.g. I am not Atheist, but Agnostic. We have some dissimilarities in music (I like a few Talking Heads songs, though), but differences like that are trivial and tolorable. I own 3 cats and 2 greyhounds. I volunteer at a nearby shelter on saturdays and alternate fridays to take care of the cats. And I love books. I spend more on books than video games and movies. Not very into WoW, but I do Guild Wars, so MMOs are cool with me. I'm a bit off color compared to most guys, but I'm loyal and caring (also rare for guys in the current generation). If I strike you as interesting, don't hesitate to reply to me. p.s. I wear make-up, but not very often. If that bothers you, tell me why. I'm always willing to explain myself.

hey.

cliche time!

-so i bet you get this all the time but my beard really likes you, thinks you're interesting, and would like to get to know you.

-i never do this. but my beard is a frighteningly powerful dominance in my abstract thought process, similar to a tape worm, only a less symbiotic relationship is had between myself and my beard, and i just want to say that you are really pretty!

cliches aside, and i apologize, but whatever, that was fun to write and i'm bored, but ait, WHOA, here comes yet another apology, this time for the run on sentence(s).

look, my beard is just a part of my face, and it doesn't actually control any facet of my being, but it has DEMANDED i seek communications with you....

you're really quite powerful aren't you?

how do you feel about being $poiled by an older man?

(i think the beard one is probably my favorite.)