another time i embarrassed myself is when i worked at summer camp. several terrible albeit hilarious things happened to me. the first and foremost being the rumor that i was a lesbian who was going to "go straight" for this guy who i couldn't stand. and another was i was in love with this guy i made out with because if you make out it means you're bf and gf. oh and also that i should date THE MOST ANNOYING GUY i have ever met in my life because we were "similar." anyway here are the top 3 things:
1. on like, the first day, i was in the staff cabin at my locker. the cabin was made of plywood, had some computers from like 1992, and about 6 really old couches that someone probably picked up on the side of the road. i was done at my locker and wanted to go sit on the couch. the back of the couch faced me and i thought i'd hop on over it and lay down like a cool hybrid fonzie/fresh prince move. you know cool people do that shit in movies all the time! so i threw myself over the side of the couch, said in monotone, "do a barrel roll." and then the couch since it was garbage collapsed and rolled on top of me and i was stuck. two of my coworkers had to lift the couch off me and my pride was broken but not for long because i continued to sass my way into the hearts of basically no one for the rest of the summer.
2. i hung out in the art room a lot and often helped out. there was this girl who was one of the oldest campers who was always there too because for some reason she couldn't swim and do a lot of other camp activities. i really liked her because she was kind of edgy compared to the rest of those those lester's-shopping tools. she also had great hair and always had like a bunch of cute clips in it and styled it great. one day when at art i was like, "your hair always looks so great! it's like perfect! i'm so jealous!" :D :D :D and she was kind of weird and standoffish about it and i was like, oh maybe because puberty i made her feel weird with my compliment.
anyway, several days later i mentioned her hair and how great it was to one of my fellow counselors and she gave me this death stare and was like, ".....why would you make fun of her like that." and i had to explain, no, she was mistaken, i really thought this camper had great hair. and that's when she revealed to me that this camper had cancer and her fantastic hair was a wig and so in retrospect that girl probably thought i was giving her a pity compliment or something. and then i felt awkward around her for the rest of the summer.
3. the time i was climbing up this giant inflatable slide in the lake, got to the top, proceeded to fall down all of the inflatable steps face first, unable to catch myself on the slippery plastic or hard plastic rungs as they slapped me in the face. then i hit the platform, slid off and into the water. and the lifeguards blew their whistles and i climbed out of the water, got onto the platform and kind of wanted to die but i climbed up the entire slide to the top and slid down just to prove that i was okay. but i was fairly certain at the time that my entire face was broken.
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